Sleep

I’m tired.
I have been trapped in these parameters of the bed and have no sense of awareness.
My mind is asleep my body is asleep, even as I walk through the days.
A perpetual sleep, worse than being dead… Yet, I move in these parameters. My other senses they suffer from this prolonged torture. I move from room to room, place to place as if an insomniac, worse of it, holding coffee in my hand…
I wander with no ability to think…
I want sleep yes, I want to sleep again…I refuse to awake.
What is there to awakening but the terrible reality of pain?!
Ach, I want to sleep. Let me sleep.
I don’t want to go there. See these monstrous faces with grimaces and teeth darkened and worsened by decay and cigarettes.
I hate when they smile at me to have their little moment of fun.
Let me be. I want sleep. I am tired of the bed being invaded by ruthless creatures, for money that you get.
My body is long asleep and senseless my mind too.
It has given up to the grimace of life… Trapped… Trapped… I want to leave.
Go where? No one knows of my existence. Here comes another creature with instincts enclosed in his pants. There his face again. “Here have a drink!” says he. Sleep. Drunk…
Yes again teeth signs in my body made by endless creatures. “Here is the money”, they say. “Give it to the boss”
Tomorrow is my birthday. Hm, what am I to do with it… I turn eighteen. I feel old. Sleep. Let me sleep. I want to sleep, truly.
Dress… I want to dress beautifully as my mother always did so. Dress… Shorts, leather, tight, top most open than closed like holes were carved in it. Don’t cover any of my signs.
Shoes I hate them. The heels are too high.
Make up, as always too much. Mirror, mirror in the wall who’s the fairest of them all?!!!!
Sleep. Oh, it’s night. There she goes in front of me, just like me. I know she speaks the same language as I but I wouldn’t dare talk… My boss he’s there watching. She is young too.
My body as become an avenue like the one I’m walking. People walk in the pavement.
Creatures, ruthless, angry, hungry, ready to rid off their urges walk in my body, all over day and night. Sleep.
“Drink!” another one and another. My reasoning has become impaired by sleep and drinking.
Tired… I need a pillow. My bed has many pillows all of them smell of sweat and dirt.
My mom used to wash my pillow and pillow cases. I always smelled fresh. My mom…
Does she know where I am? I miss her, haven’t seen her in three years…
Tomorrow, my birthday… No cake. Tired…
Decay another one with tooth decay. Old too, as most of them are…
I haven’t seen her today or yesterday… The Russian girl told me she hadn’t either. The corner… The boss… My feet hurt. I hate these shoes. What time is it? Two past midnight. I want sleep.
A new one showed up today. Don’t know where is from. She is young too. She looks scared and terrified. I like to talk to her, I can’t. My boss watches like a dog its prey.
I stay. I sleep. What’s my name? I have forgotten what they called me, at any rate sounds a strange name. Doesn’t pass with the present me…
The new one looks exhausted. She too needs sleep.
Again I haven’t seen her today. The Russian said to me quickly she’s gone missing.
May be she found her way out. May be she is going to take some true sleep.
May be her mother will know she is alive…
Sleep. She is dead.


Michigan 2007 March.